Thursday, July 31, 2008

"For real?"

I often wonder what causes hatred in people.  

Well, the short, obvious answer is that mankind was born with a sin nature, one predicated on evil since the original sin.  But I see the ways in which some people live their lives and just wonder how such hateful actions, words and looks can be produced from within and manifested in a way that can be so egregious towards others.  Sometimes I take a step back from life and ask myself, "For real??"  

These instances of loathing can be subtle.  Sometimes I hear this hatred lucidly in the way that people refer to others... I wonder, as their contempt for another "kind" of people drips from their lips, "Do they know how bigoted and they sound... or are they proud to be of this mindset?"  These sorts of episodes are most apparent when the topics of politics, religion and race arise, but have permeated societies and rear their ugly heads similarly in less predictable settings.   

I've noted that essentially all hateful acts, sentiments and sayings are caused in one form or another by extremism.  If it's not an extremist act, it's an extremist belief.  If it's not his or her own extremist opinion, it's someone else's causing division. Or perchance, these are caused by a person who is as weak as to latch on to the extremist belief of another in true lemming fashion - without having formulated his or her own opinion.  

I believe that many people are plagued by a certain void in their life.  A festering, empty space they can feel, aching, but not grasp with the grubby fingers of their mind, no matter what they do. This is again a result of the sin nature that humans are born into, a manifestation of the human desire to have a relationship with God. They try to fill it with many things; both physical and intangible.  And when they come upon something they sense is steadfast, (for what can seem more stable to the precariously emotional heart than a firm and seemingly unshakeable creed?) they latch on; in a feeble attempt to gain a sense of stability in their lives.  Unknowingly, or consciously even, they surrender a bit of themselves to this creed - a sacrifice for solidarity.

To be honest, I think it is perfectly acceptable to feel adamant on an issue and hold extreme views about it.  Many times, a person holds these views for legitimate reasons; reasons that can be based on informed decisions made by that person, and life experiences he or she has had.  I think where a responsible and considerate citizen with extreme views is separated from the extremist who harbors hatred in his heart, and foolishly decides to share it with everyone is in the considerate citizen's respect for others' beliefs.  Now, this may sound old hat to some, a trite concept that people pass around to aim for an ideal society, one with love and mutual regard for others, but I believe that people should really take heed to this kind of mindset. No matter how naive, outlandish, or vacuous a different take on things may seem to us... we should retain a certain respect for others beliefs or customs.  Because, in this case, the idiom, "variety is the spice of life," really holds true.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

La Palabra



"La Palabra"  - acrylic/collage

This piece is a response to my time in Peru.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Asdifoavuer

asdifoavuer (asz-deh-fwah-verr)
noun.

Etymology: unknown

A state of being in which an individual has mixed feelings, or has contradictory ideas about someone or something, to the extent of feeling torn asunder.

pseudo-synonym: ambivalence
Asdifoavuer cannot merely be described as ambivalence, however.

Aergiuper

aergiuper (air-joo-pair)
noun.

Etymology: unknown

A state of jadedness and disillusionment, resulting from another person's repetitively irking actions; esp. when referring to a close friend.

synonyms: none
antonyms: none

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Yes We Can, A Montage

Yo check out this link, if you haven't already seen it.  It is a music video montage inspired by Senator Barack Obama's speech after the 2008 New Hampshire primary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

I found it very touching, and I became very proud/emotional for how far Black people have come in this nation, despite racism, bigotry, and discrimination.  Our nation is changing, and we young people are part of a living movement, one that will be talked about in history books to come.  While America is yet to be a true meritocracy or live up to the American ideal, it warms my soul to know that the centuries of suffering, dreams of visionaries and hard work on many people's behalf have not gone to waste.  Yes We Can... progress... and We Have.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Fatuous Thinking

Why do I feel unnecessarily annoyed over the most trivial things?

Perhaps it's my feeble perception that others' minds should function the same way mine does.  I always think, "Why do they do this when they know it gets on my nerves???  DANG!!  If I was [enter name here...], I would realize (especially when Dorian specifically tells [...] ) that what I am doing really bothers him (Dorian), and I would make an effort to change."  

Let's say this task proves too difficult for [...] to change.  In this case, if I were [...] I would let Dorian know that I am trying, and would ask Dorian to be patient with me.  But this never seems to happen.

I deceive myself into thinking that others care about the way I hurt as deeply as I care about the ways in which they hurt.  I fatuously seem to think that they would do all of what they could to minimize the things that really cause me pain, anguish, or frustration. I become disillusioned, and sad.  I am overcome with lassitude.

I feel doubly cross because I am focusing my frustration, concentrating it to its most potent form, on the people that I care about most.  In my own eyes, I become some disgusting bestial thing, wondering, "Why can't I just be content with these wonderful people that I love, and who love me?" Instead I am endlessly browbeating them to reach my high standard of consideration for others, and failing to evince my reciprocated love to them. I am demonizing myself, and failing to relish in some of the most enjoyable things of life. This is the worst aspect of all.

--

[sigh]

I'm thirsty.  You know, I should just pour myself a tall glass of water, and gulp down the red pill. But it is so hard for me to surrender my undying optimism when it comes to others' potential. I suppose this is a good thing.  However, I seem to be heaping upon myself undue stress and worry.  This is the point where I need to give it to God.  Mah'fact... I shoulda done that a long time ago....

[sigh]

Thank God for his mercy and love. Unquestionably, he feels this way all the time.  I'm coming to realize that this is in fact a lesson from God.  He sovereignly and rhetorically broods, with a heavy heart, "Why does [Dorian] constantly do things that I've told him time and time again are displeasing in my sight?"    And unbeknownst to me, in my ignorance, I cause God grief by continuing in my sin and disregarding how rejected He must feel.

[sigh]

Yet HE STILL LOVES ME! ... and blesses me daily.  He loved me enough to send His only Son to die for me.  ME!!???  a wretched sinner worthy of naught. It boggles my mind [and it should] that God can be so patient with me.   And yet I seem to to frequently forget His sacrifice, and suffering...

[sigh]

"Have mercy upon me, Lord."